Links
1 of 72 »

Can’t Breathe When I’m Around Beautiful Women | Levisse

the-levicruz:

It was so uncharacteristically of Levi to ever leave Clarisse’s side willingly. If anything, he made her life much harder when he refused to allow her to make it to work on time, or when he bribed her into meeting him at college so he wouldn’t have to wait much after his last class to be with her. And yes, perhaps he liked showing off his new wife so others might envy him. If only in the slightest. But being told that he was going to father another child… well, that was life changing. The good kind, but still. It was different with Mira. He had to make a decision on the spot, a promise and then he was given hours to process, to simply stare at that newborn and feel himself gradually falling in love with her. This time, it was no more than an idea, an illusion. There was no baby, Clarisse wasn’t showing… his mind was struggling to process.

By the time Levi emerged from the turmoil of emotions, he realized he was at the other end of town. He had walked that far? Jesus. He had to go back. And most likely apologize. With the visual of a baby and a curious Mira hovering over a crib, Levi found himself grinning. Fool, being intimidated by the concept of fatherhood when he had already fathered a child - even if not biologically. 

-

It was only hours later that he reached home, a handful of baby books under one arm, Clarisse’s favorite foods and ice creams in the other. He was hardly one for gifts, but food soothed her temper and the books would come in handy. A deep breath and he dared enter his own home. “Honey, I’m home.” Here goes nothing.

   She had spent the past two weeks thinking of all the different possible scenarios that could have happened, the one that did, it never even crossed her mind. Maybe she was a dreamer, while she had expected a drama king reaction, she had thought there might have been some sort of happiness involved. Instead he walked out, which is something he never had done before, if anything he was always the one making her stay when he angered her enough to cause her to want space. She figured it hurt as much as it did because of how unexpected it was. Attempting to turn her attention to the tv had turned out to be waste of time, her mind only seemed determined to keep playing his leaving on repeat, struggling to come up with some sort of clue on how this would all play out. 

   Checking her cell phone again, she tossed it back on the couch when it revealed no new messages, the blonde wasn’t sure if she was more upset or pissed, but either way she felt like whipping something at his head. Then again he had a tendency of bringing those feelings to the surface on a normal basis. Playing with the rings on her finger, twirling them seemed to have become a habit of hers whenever she felt anxious. Clarisse pushed herself off the couch, knowing she was going to drive herself crazy if she continued to sit there and stare at nothing, letting her mind work up every bad possibility it could think of. Instead turning her focus into making a cup of tea, it had always been something her mom did to soothe her nerves.

  It had been hours since he left, she wasn’t sure tea was going to fix the knots in her stomach but it was all she had, with Mira sleeping and the staff seemingly gone for the night, there wasn’t much else to put her focus on that wouldn’t result in her cracking. Hearing the door open, she rushed to make sure it was him, a small sigh of relief leaving her. Downside of living in some supernatural beacon, she never knew what could happen.  But her relief was quickly changed to anger at his words, if that was his attempt to play off his walking out the urge to throw something at him was back in full force. Shaking her head, she turned on her heel making her way back to the kitchen, he was the only one capable of frustrating her so much she felt the need to get this angry. The blonde had decided that she wasn’t even going to bother with talking to him right now, too pissed off at him to form the right words that she wanted.


(Source: hazzamin)


I Can’t Lie || Levisse

 

At times, Levi found fate to be a funny thing. Most times, he resented it. For taking Clarisse from him, for keeping them 5 years apart… He blamed himself for not searching more, for ignoring that voice at the back of his mind which urged him to believe he would find her once more. He accepted that she had died but did believe they would be reunited whenever he passed away too. Perhaps that was what originally lead him to become involved with drugs. Levi was anything but stupid. Only idiots became involved with drug abuse. Idiots or desperate, lost souls. He was the second, of course. He wished to speed up the process and leave behind a life which could hold nothing promising for him. His one and only chance at happiness had been abruptly taken from him and he wanted this life over and done with.

Then Mira happened. In so many ways, that little girl had saved him. He had struggled at first, yes; without doubt. He was alone and she was a newborn in need of a mother. Mira had to do everything different. She could not be breastfed, Levi often allowed her to listen to his heartbeat but was told it was not as efficient as listening to the biological mother’s… he knew nothing regarding babies, but proved to be a fast learner. He still wanted more children. Many. He had read somewhere that the older children could develop some insecurities and jealousy but if they became involved since day 1 it was much unlikely to happen. Perhaps they could do that.

The air seemed to have been sucked from within his lungs when Clarisse’s face dropped rather than the usual nerves which followed an incident. So no paint, no broken vase? Just… a pregnant Clarisse. Wait, what? Pregnant. Pregnant. The word kept playing in his mind like a broken record but his brain cells were failing at establishing a connection of any kind. Pregnant. Baby. Baby. New born. Dippers. Crying. Pacifiers. Baby. Pregnant. Levi only grew more frustrated but the more he urged himself to cooperate, the less he did. He merely continued to stare at his wife, lips parted, unaware of how to respond. “I-” Nothing. He was lacking air, could not breathe. Hold on. Wait, what? How? When? Huh?

Air, you moron, you need air, his conscious screamed so he rose to his feet slowly, almost as if he had been compelled. “I-” Again nothing. “Air.” As if that were an explanation of sorts, he picked up his jacket and walked out the front door. All he knew was that he had to keep placing one foot in front of the other. Anything else and he wouldn’t cope.

Clarisse hadn’t believed in fate before they met, she had always figured there was some sort of reasoning behind things happening, but never that it was all mapped out and fate deciding things. But now, what else could explain some of the events in her life? Maybe it was fate that they had to go through everything they did, to make them who they were today. Or maybe it just couldn’t be explained. To end up in the places they both had been, he had been involved in drugs, pushing himself to ever limit, she spent her days locked away questioning whether or not to give up and let him do as he pleased with her, how was that fated to happen? They had happiness, they were on the brink of something amazing and it had been completely demolished the first time. As much as she hated to think about their years apart there were times that it was the only thing she could think about. The blonde just wished there had been some explantation as to why they both had to go through those things.

  Here he was just staring at her, not offering a single word. She didn’t know what to say that would make him snap out of it, if there was anything she could even say. Clarisse wanted to have patience, but right now she needed him to give her something, any sort of reaction that didn’t involve him standing there with his mouth open. “Say something, please?” Her subconscious was kicking her, telling that she had told him too soon, that she should have stuck with her plan to keep it to herself until she felt comfortable enough to tell him..but maybe she had been selfish, she wanted him at the doctors appointments. This was her first time doing this, and while he had Mira, he didn’t get her until after all these things were finished. Was it so wrong of her to be happy about this? The way this conversation was going - obviously.

Unshed tears that threatened to fall she desperately attempted to keep in. Especially as he got up, “Levi, don’t go..” It was something he didn’t do..he never walked away from her, if anything it was her who always attempted to break away, and he’d always do the same thing. He’d throw her over his shoulder and drag her back until he got what he wanted. Air, the only word she got from him, following him to the door now she was the one at a loss for words. Watching him leave..it was almost like slap, there was no dragging him back and pushing him until he decided to talk. Clarisse closed the door behind him, maybe a little harder than she intended. She wasn’t entirely sure what exactly she was feeling, it was a mixture of things that seemed to be on over drive. Making her way to the couch, she sat down, swiping at the tears, she had always hated crying. Curling up in her spot, her hand resting on her flat stomach “I really hope you pee on him every time he tries to change your diaper.” Glancing over at the door once more she let out a sigh, what was she supposed to do now?

(Source: lovelost-and-thenfound)


I Can’t Lie || Levisse

 

The time would come where he could no longer pretend not to notice that the click was ticking, time was passing and his little girl was not so little anymore. Sometimes it felt like only yesterday he was carrying her home, after a eight hour flight where everyone who saw her could not resist smiling at the newborn. Now, not only could she walk and talk, but she had a mind of her own, was more than vocal about her desires and dislikes. It was gradually becoming harder to ignore her growth but Levi was beginning to realize that even when she reached mid age and he were near senile, she would forever be his little girl.

Work, yes, he excelled so very much in. Hardworking and focused, Levi was also extremely competitive. It was a driving force. He enjoyed eliminating the competition. Something about alpha male bullshit. Even humans had that instinct, to want to thrive over the others. And Levi did. Whenever he encountered a professor who attempted to break him down, he won at their game and accomplished whatever he wished. He was spoiled, had been all his life, but he was also incredibly gifted and never expected success to be handed to him. “But they can dream,” he pressed with a sided grin.

Patience was hardly a virtue he possessed. He often made himself practice for Clarisse’s sake, but Jesus did he fucking hate waiting. Another evident trace of his wealthy upbringing and possibly one of the many consequences of being an only child. Mira, often, seemed to suffer from the same issue.

And then the words left Clarisse’s lips and for a while he merely blinked blankly at her, feeling lashes brushed for time seemed to have paused. What? Huh? Lips curved slightly, a chuckle falling past his lips. “Okay, I get it, it’s serious. Whatever you think you’ve done, Clarisse, I won’t be angry for too long.” She had to be testing him, right? “Besides, rage sex is wonderful.”

   She had grown up quite a bit just in the time that Clarisse got to spend with her, her birthday was only another three months away now. It was amazing how quickly time had been flying by. Well there was always that saying that time waited for no man for a reason. It’s just that those five years they spent apart seemed to drag on for an eternity while their time together seemed to constantly move faster. Then again they had managed to do a lot of things that would normally be spaced out over months in only a few. Between them getting back into their rhythm, then engaged, and married..it was a lot, and now this ontop of it..it was a lot to deal with/

   She knew he lacked patience, he always had. Not like she could talk though, she was incredibly impatient, but it’s not like she was going to admit that to him. She figured it had to do with the fact her parents only had her, she never really had to wait her turn when it came to attention. Levi seemed to share that quality with her, and Mira as well, which was something she worried about. What if Mira took this badly? Didn’t want a sibling running around. The first almost three years of her life were completely dedicated to everyone paying attention to just her. And now she was going to have to share some of it, it was going to be an adjustment for all of them, hopefully one that would be for the best.

   Raising a brow as he stood there, staring almost blankly at her. Okay, so not the exact reaction she was expecting, but at least he didn’t seem pissed. A small shred of hope ran through her when he smiled but then it was crushed when he thought she was joking. He was such an idiot sometimes, why would anyone jokingly tell their husband they were pregnant? “Do you honestly believe that I would hide breaking a vase of yours with telling you that I was pregnant?” Maybe if she said it back to him, he realize how dumb it sounded. Normally she attempted to display patience when it came to anything revolving Levi, right now it happened to be a struggle. “Starting to think the keeping this to myself for a while longer option was better.” 

(Source: lovelost-and-thenfound)


(Source: bellefleurcaroline)


I Can’t Lie || Levisse

the-levicruz:

lovelost-and-thenfound:

  Maybe she was a little more antsy because of her being out of a job for the time being, but maybe it was a good thing. She felt run down lately, found herself dozing off at the worst times. While Mira on the other hand seemed to not only have all her normal energy but double that. Though Clarisse had to admit she loved all the extra time she was getting with Mira, it always brought her happiness to see how excited she was to tell Levi things they did that day. She hadn’t always been sure if she could do the whole completely be a stay at home mom thing, but it was always a possibility. 

  He was always hands on with his work, he had a talent with what he did, it was almost natural to him when he got working. “I doubt you’d ever let anyone else win.” Shifting a little nervously, she let out a small sigh , tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “You think you could take a break?” How could you open up into a statement like she wanted? She didn’t want to just blurt it out, “I have something to tell you, and..it’s important. It’s driving me crazy not telling you, I hate keeping things from you.” Trailing off, realizing she was rambling, realizing she hadn’t really given him a chance to answer the first question. 

At the age of three, Mira could finally join pre-school. But Levi was hesitant. He feared to wear her out before time. On one hand, yes, he was well aware that interacting with other children of her own age would do her well and was most likely necessary, but on another, he could not imagine sending her off and only collecting her at the end of the day when she was most likely tired and hungry, and would crash as soon as she was bathed. She was not yet three, he had to remind himself and decided to postpone that decision. While he would much prefer Clarisse or himself stay with the toddler at home, it would most likely not always prove to be possible.

"I like to let them think they stand a chance," he replied, smirking lightly as his eyes scanned the design. He was good. Very good. Of course, coming from someone as confident as himself it probably shouldn’t mean much, but Levi was a perfectionist and demanded more of himself than any professor ever could.

Eyes rose to meet her gaze; at first a frown then a smirk and papers were dropped in favor of providing her with all the attention she demanded. “She finally cracks.” The young man sat back, making himself comfortable. “Okay, what’s the big secret? Did you break a vase again? Or did Mira leave hand prints on one of my suits?”

A large part of her was dreading Mira going to school, she knew the little one would exel at whatever she did, she just wasn’t looking forward to not having her around all the time. It was bad enough when she was off with Tasha or Rebekah all day, at least she came back with plenty of energy. That was part of growing up though, the logical part of Clarisse knew that, and she knew Levi did as well, but it didn’t change them wanting to hold her close. They still had some time, and most pre-k’s didn’t run all day, when the time came they’d figure it all out, they always did.

"But they never do." If there was one thing she’d stroke his ego on, it was his work. She enjoyed seeing him doing something that he turned out to be so good at. Everyone had their talents, this was his. Clarisse knew better than anyone that despite his cocky attitude Levi would always be the one who criticized himself the most. He was a perfectionist with his own work, doubted himself even when there was no reason for him to. 

Rolling her eyes when he called her out for finally cracking, she was terrible at keeping things in for long periods of time, she eventually snapped a let it all out, usually it came with him poking her and annoying her enough till she had to let it all out. Huffing, that was one time, and she looked away from Mira for one second and the girl with her finger-paints had taken it upon herself to redesign Levi’s suit. Shaking her head, she took a small pause before letting out a small sigh “I’m pregnant.” Glancing at him nervously, attempting to gauge his reaction. 



I Can’t Lie || Levisse

 

Clarisse used her job as a distraction; this much Levi had always been very much aware of. And perhaps that was why he felt the blonde had grown more concerned. Without an outlet, she had nowhere to release the tension. Hopefully she’d talk to him before things got too out of hand. Regardless, there was an advantage to having her home: Mira got all the attention. Whenever he returned from school - which he refused to miss - Mira would run across the house, into his arms and start babbling about the activities shared with Clarisse. She seemed much more hyper of as late. Though she crashed that much harder due to this.

He liked the sound of it too, but had no desire in making such a statement; it was evident in his eye either way. Her question caused Levi to better analyze his work. She had always been aware that papers and pencils were companions to him, but this one was hardly done. Oh well. The young man shifted the paper, showing her the blueprints of what seemed to be a small home. “My first assignment. Of sorts,” he replied. “It’s a challenge and whoever wins gets the deal.”

  Maybe she was a little more antsy because of her being out of a job for the time being, but maybe it was a good thing. She felt run down lately, found herself dozing off at the worst times. While Mira on the other hand seemed to not only have all her normal energy but double that. Though Clarisse had to admit she loved all the extra time she was getting with Mira, it always brought her happiness to see how excited she was to tell Levi things they did that day. She hadn’t always been sure if she could do the whole completely be a stay at home mom thing, but it was always a possibility. 

  He was always hands on with his work, he had a talent with what he did, it was almost natural to him when he got working. “I doubt you’d ever let anyone else win.” Shifting a little nervously, she let out a small sigh , tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “You think you could take a break?” How could you open up into a statement like she wanted? She didn’t want to just blurt it out, “I have something to tell you, and..it’s important. It’s driving me crazy not telling you, I hate keeping things from you.” Trailing off, realizing she was rambling, realizing she hadn’t really given him a chance to answer the first question. 

(Source: lovelost-and-thenfound)


imgoingtocallyoufern:

AU // Kensi has some news to share with Deeks before he goes undercover.

(via the-levicruz)